Another take on feeling for Divine Love...
Scott and I are good partners. We balance each other. And we are very different... both in personality and in our spiritual lives and practices. For a long, long time, I felt like my spiritual life didn't measure up to Scott's and many of my friends. Many of them are excellent meditators, regularly having profound mystical experiences. I don't really have those and I have a hard time sitting still. I don't like to meditate. But I do have an excellent "ick-o-meter". I have only recently come to appreciate this wonderful spiritual gift that I have had since early childhood. For as long as I can remember, I can read the energy of a room in a few seconds.
My "ick-o-meter" has guided me to love over and over and over. I now realize, this flows from my inner wellspring... the flow of Divine Love within me. When I pay attention to this guide, I am able to navigate (by feeling) to that which is loving. I love love! I love to feel it flowing through me. I love to share it with others. I love to hang out in it!
Many years ago, I was working with middle school youth. I would often say "This feels icky... let's talk about this". It led to some amazing conversations and insights for all of us. The kids teased me, but they also felt very safe. Love leads to safety. Love leads to listening... compassion... and respect.
Every person on the planet has points of connection with their inner wellspring, whether they are actively nurturing this connection or not. The journey to tapping into this wellspring is going to look different for each person, but I believe there are some common tools that help (many will be addressed on this website). Some people benefit greatly from meditation. I am sure I could benefit if I felt the Divine pull to do so, but at this point, I do not. It feels like torture. So I am going to go with what feels invitational and matches my desires. I like working with my dreams and have for many years. I also find great help in working with cards (my favorite deck is "The Wisdom of the Oracle" by Collete Baron Reed). I love watching birds and wildlife in our backyard. I love animals and little children. I love crafts and puzzles. I love good conversation, and food and hikes. So these are the ways I am going to prime my inner wellspring and then I will follow where I feel led.
For a long time I judged myself as not spiritual enough... that what makes me happy didn't really count... that I somehow needed to change, to learn new, more spiritual techniques. (Comparison is the thief of joy. Scott has always appreciated my ick-o-meter and my commitment to love... I just read too many spiritual books telling me what it should look like!). Love is love, and if I can experience it by watching birds for a few minutes, or petting a sweet dog, how lucky am I?!? Enough with any judgements. Let's get to loving, moment by moment, day by day, year by year. I love the quote by Annie Dillard "How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives." I want to spend mine dwelling in love for self, for others, for our beautiful planet and with the Divine being behind and within all of this.
Blessings,
Anita